Fucked

If my life is fucked, it has never been more fucked like this. A nobody, no job, no career, flat broke and in another’s man land.

Ive got this numbing pain on my chest close to my left breast. I dread to go to the hospital. I’m scared what the issue might be. I’ve only just started my life, well my fucked life and I don’t even know what I’m doing.

I lost all the interviews again, 4 for Visa, 1 for a faang company I knew I wasn’t going to get, 1 who made me excited and ghosted me.

if this isn’t the definition of fucked, I have no idea again.

ps there are worst things for the sake of my sanity I have refused to write here, I leave it to your imagination.

Bilbo Baggins

Of all the movies in the world, LOTR by Tolkien would live with me immemorial. I think of my life and I think about Bilbo and how he upped and left to have an adventure filled life.

La mia vita può essere un'avventura?

Wardrobe

I detest my wardrobe. I’ll definitely change my collection soon.

Poetry

A Life Well Lived

How can I die when I have lived?

For dying is releasing all the gifts

God has asked me to put on earth.

Each day, as I give back, I die,

And I do not even know it.

So that when the real death comes,

It is as light as a feather,

Sonorous as the singing bird.

I cannot die because I am living,

And it is in living that I am dying.

So that when it comes, I am free,

And my judgment be light.

Then I ask, on that day

Be it my body made dust,

And my bones ashened

Do not write painful exit,

Rather, a life well lived from 96

So that on that day, they will say

She died every day,

And today is for resting

Till infinity.

I will make each day my last,

That is how we must live,

From today.

— Jenny Daniel

Ins and Out of my Wandering Mind

My life could get so busy one day, just like how Ray Kroc’s life changed. I have to stay prepared.

I’m currently reading “my life in full” by Indra Nooyi. I’m 28 years, 5 months and 5days old. I have a gruelling interview tomorrow, one that bugs my mind to death, I’m thinking of cancelling. I’ll see how it goes. I’m also thinking of Cambridge, on my bed here, I’m broke and tired, not that type of tired. I need an adventure.

I’ll see about making my room a new school. I’ll teach myself.

im creating Jenny’s dream uni. ill fix a name soon.

Alright, I’ll go back to my book now. I need to sleep though, my eyes are wide open